Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
