Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
