i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
