Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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