your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
