i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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