Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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