I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
