I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
