and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
