Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
