He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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