I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
