I will die if light touches me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
