im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
