these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
