i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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