A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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