Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
