the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
