So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
