Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
