My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
