I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
