i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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