i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
