Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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