Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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