; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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