It was confusing and full of hummus
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
