marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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