i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He felt like a one man threesome
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
