She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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