last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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