I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
