You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
