our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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