Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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