There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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