Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize