we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
