I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
