I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
True college students do jello shots in the library
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
