Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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