yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
