scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
