i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
