Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
