Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
