there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
