He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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