I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
