PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
